In Memory of Sage

Last night Sage passed away. How can you love something so much that you only had for 2 weeks?? I have never loved anything I've owned more than I loved her. Replacing her with another puppy just won't be the same b/c I want HER back... Yesterday, when I saw that she was suffering, it hurt me so much to see her that way - in turn, it made me think of God and I could only imagine how much pain he feels when we are suffering. Sage was going to be my best friend....she had already given me so much joy and love - I wanted to show her off to everyone! She even knew how to sit when I gave her the command and she always wanted to be near me - if I went to another room, she would get up and come with me and lay at my feet. I cannot imagine moving on in life without her. I know it's possible but it is going to be so hard...I can't come into my room or look at places she has been without thinking of her. I've already put all of her stuff away - toys/crate/bed... I left pictures of her up and her leash and collar are still hanging up on my wall hooks. When I look at her pictures, I just sit and wonder if there was anything I missed, any signs early on that could've saved her life or anything more the vet could've done if I had let them. But now she is gone and will be used as a study tool for the vet students at A&M - they said that they could send me her remains (ashes) but I didn't see the point. She had a stuffed animal puppy that she would sleep with that my brother-in-law gave her - it still smells like her. All I can do is hold it and cry and remember that good times that I had with her....

She had been a ball of energy until yesterday - I couldn't wait to see her grow and see how pretty she would become. And I was so excited about taking her home for Thanksgiving to show my parents and friends.
Well, last night I had to put her to sleep at the A&M Vet School/Clinic. She started getting sick on Tuesday so I took her to the vet and the vet put her on antibiotics for coccidia, which is very normal for puppies - almost every puppy has it but not all of them get sick from it. She was supposed to be on it for 10 days.
As of yesterday (Wednesday), she wasn't getting much better but she wasn't getting worse either - she couldn't ever really sleep because she was noxious and couldn't lay down due to pain. She also hadn't eaten anything since Tuesday morning and the only water she would drink is what I would force down her with a syringe. She looked miserable.
Then last night, she started having a lot of trouble breathing, she was drooling again, her gums were pale, she fell over every time she would walk, she would twitch and turn her head in different directions (almost like she was starting to seize), and she had a blank stare on her face wherever she was looking...so I rushed her to A&M's emergency vet clinic. About 20 - 30 minutes later they came back and told me that she wasn't doing good. She had an enlarged heart and fluid/blood in her lungs - said she coded several times and was breathing with the help of oxygen but that they didn't feel she would be able to breathe on her own - gave her about a 2% chance of surviving. They wanted to know if I wanted them to continue with CPR and to keep trying everything they can - I really wanted them to continue to do everything they could but I knew it wouldn't do any good and that it would just be prolonging the inevitable - I asked the vet what he recommended and he said euthanasia. He said that I could take her home to die but I knew I wouldn't be able to do that. I couldn't talk enough to ask questions, so I just nodded my head and told them to go ahead and euthanize her. I can't believe she is really gone...She just turned 7 weeks old on Tuesday. I will miss her so much!